Guidelines for Handling Reported Conflict

Guidelines for Handling Reported Conflict

 * 1) Always listen compassionately, but objectively, knowing that there are usually two sides to a conflict.
 * 2) * Refuse to take sides and don't take up a personal offense.
 * 3) * As much as possible, support established leaders.
 * 4) Clarify details. Review history of situation, including staff's responses, attitudes, and attempts at resolving conflict.
 * 5) Determine stage of conflict and help appropriately
 * 6) * Tension development -- overlook a fault, forgive (personal)
 * 7) * Avoid starting a quarrel (cf. 26:17)
 * 8) * Forgive grievances out of love.
 * 9) * Clarify ( quick to listen, slow to speak, )
 * 10) * Injustice collection -- piling up a list of offenses
 * 11) * Whirlpool effect -- pulling others into the conflict, causing division
 * 12) * Confrontation - obvious verbal or non verbal conflict
 * 13) Try to help individuals solve the problem at the lowest level. Focus first on face to face discussion, understanding, and personal reconciliation.  (Know and use YWAM's Justice and Reconciliation Guidelines)
 * 14) * Face to face
 * 15) * Face to face with a witness
 * 16) * Face to face with leaders
 * 17) * Higher level of leadership if appeal is necessary
 * 18) Coach the individual in some "how tos" for resolving conflict face to face
 * 19) * Prepare your heart --confess own sins, forgive other
 * 20) * Go at the right time and right place
 * 21) * Go in genuine humility
 * 22) * Go with the right motive -- a goal of reconciliation
 * 23) * Confess in the circle of confession
 * 24) * Listen in humility; Listen to understand; Listen to learn
 * 25) * Be ready to respond with kindness and be ready to change
 * 26) If some "moral failure" is involved, you must report to the appropriate organizational leaders, but initial confrontation face to face is always appropriate (*see "must report" situations below)
 * 27) Offer support -- prayer, feedback, & coaching on next steps
 * 28) Be willing to be a mediator between staff members or leaders as needed or arrange for someone else appropriate.
 * 29) Recognize your own strengths as well as your limits. Get advice when you need it or refer to someone with the necessary experience or skill.
 * 30) Whenever there is a need for follow-up, make sure that either a leader or a pastoral care giver has been identified to follow up.
 * 31) Intentionally seek out an appropriate person for regular debriefing after being involved with handling a conflict. Know how to let go of burdens.

* "Must report" situations


 * A person is a danger to himself or others
 * Financial embezzlement or theft
 * Reported cases of sexual immorality
 * Hidden addictions such as pornography, pills, or alcohol
 * Abusive leadership -- use Justice and Reconciliation Guidelines
 * Legally required reporting issues

Created collaboratively by Jane and Randy Rhoades and Anke Tissingh, Youth With A Mission 2006.